RANT! Breasts Are For Food, Not Sex! My Opinion on Nursing in Public

Before you read this post, I would like to put a disclaimer at the top. I am NOT against formula feeding what-so-ever. In this blog, I will mention how nasty formula tastes to a baby and how it upsets his stomach. I understand that not every baby reacts this way toward formula. However, many breastfed babies do not like the taste of formula and it hurts their tummies because they’re not used to it. Think of it as how the doctor tells you not to switch your baby’s formula too often because it will make them sick. It’s relatively the same thing. Again, I do not have anything against formula feeding. I just prefer breast, and so does my son.

Also, I’d like to add that boobies CAN be fun for sex. But the main purpose is for feeding a baby. :)

As a breastfeeding mother who is an advocate for nursing in public and does her research, I will explain a few of the misconceptions so that those of you who make snide comments to breastfeeding mothers can understand…

OMG I don’t want to see your breasts. Those are for the husband in the bedroom, not strangers in Bob Evans. 

breastfeeding 4

Breasts are for food, not sex. Sure they’re fun to look at and touch. But they belong first and foremost to your babies. My son deserves to eat with his family.

Go to the restroom and nurse! There’s more privacy there. No, not near the sink, in a stall! Other women will have to see it when they go to the bathroom!

breastfeeding 7You go eat your lunch on a toilet, and then you can tell me to feed my son there. I still won’t because it’s gross but I’ll let the comment slide if you sit on the nasty toilet (that doesn’t usually have a lid by the way) in a public place that possibly has piss and menstrual blood on it. No you cannot stand up. Have you nursed a baby standing up? It’s not easy. In that case… ok… but put a big bag or something that takes up both hands in your arms while eating… if you insist on standing. It’s only fair since mothers have to hold their babies for 20 minutes while trying to keep the latch. Don’t drop the “baby” now… and don’t forget to wash your hands honey.

Just pump before you leave the house. And can’t you freeze it or something?

breastfeeding 8

Pump? Not always an option. For one, some babies won’t take a bottle. Two, sometimes it’s last minute shopping. Three, some women can’t pump much at all. I personally can pump 15-20 minutes 3-4 times a day and get maybe 1oz. It would take over a week to get two 4oz bottles. Look up the science of pumping. It’s not like a baby nursing. Babies do it better. Kudos for the moms who are lucky enough to be able to pump a lot. I personally cannot! Yes I can freeze it, but that would mean I could only go out maybe 1-2 times a month. When I say “go out” I’m not talking about the movies. I’m talking about running important errands such as grocery shopping and paying bills. I reserve the tiny bit of breastmilk that I DO get for those 1-2 times a year that I can have a day out with my husband without the baby so that the babysitter will have milk for him. And another thing… do you have any idea of how much it can hurt sometimes?!

Just cover up. They make covers just for that. I don’t want to look at your disgusting breasts!

breastfeeding 9

Cover up? Let’s see you eat your lunch under a blanket WHILE your face is leaning against someone’s skin. Body heat is a bitch. Even with a thin cover, my son’s little cheeks get red as beets and starts wheezing. I will not do that to him. Also, babies have arms and you’ll probably get a show anyway with all the arm flailing. The difference is that if I don’t use a cover, I’m already discretely covering most of my breast with my shirt and not having to deal with a fussy baby. If I cover him, he’s constantly struggling, and so am I, meaning that I’ll probably be showing a lot more of my “disgusting” breasts, as you so nicely put it.

I don’t want my teenage son to see that!

breastfeeding 12

This one makes me giggle. Do you really think he’s never seen a nipple before? It’s natural for him to be curious. If you had taught him about how breastfeeding is natural from the time he was little, he wouldn’t be eyeballing as much.

Just nurse before you leave the house or stay home.

breastfeeding 13

Stay home when it’s time to nurse? Nurse before I leave the house? Seriously? I’m sorry but this is just the stupidest thing ever. Breastfed babies nurse every 1-3 hours in the beginning and slowly work into every 2-4 hours. Sometimes my son has been hungry an hour after nursing. I would never be able to leave home! AND I live in the country. I’m 30-45 minutes away from the mall, grocery store, or Walmart. So as soon as I get there, I’d have to turn around and come back home.

Nurse in your car. You don’t have to do it in front of everyone.

breastfeeding 6

Go to the car to nurse? Fair enough. I’ll give you that one. I’ve done this many times. However if it’s summer time for me, it’s not really an option because I don’t have AC and can’t afford to get it fixed–like many other people. While we’re moving with the air coming through the windows its bearable but sitting still is miserable. So what am I supposed to do, have my husband to drive me around for fresh air? Drive myself around while nursing? No. It’s illegal, and rightfully so. I will not smother my baby in the heat. Even if I had AC in my car, why should I have to leave my dinner to go out to the car to nurse, where I’m sure people will give me weird looks as well. I would come back 20-30 minutes later to a cold meal and everyone else would be ready to go. Why should I have to leave to feed my baby while you’re feeding yours while you eat at the table?

Just give him formula while you’re out. That’s what it’s made for!

no formula

Just give him formula? Not an option for most exclusively breastfed babies. Because breastmilk is sweet and formula is metallic, most breastfed babies hate it. They’ll just spit it out. Also they’re not used to the sodium or iron in formula, so most spit it back up or fuss with painful gas. Anyway, there is a reason why I chose to breastfeed–because it’s the best I can give my baby! BTW I’m not saying formula feeding makes a bad parent. I just feel since I have the option, I’m going with the more natural approach. I won’t make an exception while I’m out just because you can’t keep your nose out of my business.

Next thing you know, people will be using the bathroom in public. Just squat and take a crap on the sidewalk. It’s legal! That’s disgusting.

pooping

Um… did you just compare breastfeeding to using the bathroom? Because my son doesn’t drink urine or eat feces. Using the bathroom is a dirty task. Yes, it’s just as natural as breastfeeding. But they are nothing alike. Eating is a clean task. You eat in public, don’t you? My son wears a diaper so that he doesn’t “crap on the sidewalk,” just like you use the bathroom in a toilet to keep from “crapping on the sidewalk”. Urine and feces are crawling with nasty bacteria that can make a person sick. It even has to be treated in a plant! It’s a disgusting thing that every person has to do but most wish they didn’t. I can’t say the same about eating. So while you’re eating your Big Mac, remember that by eating that processed stuff that can barely be called food, my child is eating something that nature intended. If anything, he’s doing something cleaner than you.

If you can flop out a boob and feed your baby, I should be able to run around butt naked on the blvd while playing Sinatra. 

Will Ferrell Streaking

Are you freaking kidding me? Did you just say that my breast is the same as your naked ass? When I “flop out a boob”, it is nothing like being butt naked on the blvd! However, you’re allowed to jog down the blvd shirtless, while it’s still illegal for me. Now how is that for justice, Mr. Sinatra wannabe?

You shouldn’t be doing that around other children, especially other people’s kids. It’s not appropriate for little children.

kids watching

And heaven forbid that the kids know what the breast is REALLY meant for! It is precisely this attitude that makes people believe that breastfeeding is a bad thing. It is not a nasty thing. It is a very clean and beautiful thing that should be taught from a young age. And furthermore, most children wouldn’t even question it. If they did ask, if you said, “She’s feeding the baby,” they probably would be happy with that answer. Some might ask, “Why doesn’t she use a bottle?” If they do, all you have to do is say there’s more than one way to feed a baby, and that’s the way she decides to feed hers.” Their response? Probably “okay”. You’re welcome. I just made your conversation a whole lot less awkward for you, although it really shouldn’t be. You don’t have to go all in detail about it. The less embarrassed and awkward you are about it, the less they’ll ask. But I urge you to GO INTO DETAIL! Let them ask questions, and answer truthfully. Tell them about what breasts are for! Tell them that it’s a natural, beautiful thing. Then they’ll grow up with an open mind and smile instead of frown at mothers feeding their babies.

I am a God fearing Christian and I believe in being modest!

jesus breastfeeding

How do you think baby Jesus ate? Do you think Mary just hid her nips every time the baby was hungry? She probably even sat with her breast out while Jesus slept afterwards. He definitely didn’t get formula out of a bottle.

Ew! How can you DO that with your own baby? It doesn’t matter whether you’re in public or not, breastfeeding is disgusting. It’s so sexual! I think it should be against the law. You slut!

breastfeeding 10

This one makes me fume more than anything! BREASTFEEDING IS NOT SEXUAL! There is absolutely NOTHING sexual about breastfeeding, not even for a millisecond. Before men decided that they should claim the breasts for themselves, breasts were for food only, not for sex. Now that society has sexualized breasts, it has become more difficult to be accepted. If you truly must believe that breasts are for sex, at least remember that while my son claims them, there is no sexual feelings what-so-ever. I believe that harassing a mother by telling her that she’s having sexual relations with their baby just because she’s feeding her baby the most natural way possible should be against the law. Oh wait… it IS! So back off and don’t call me names.

That’s very disrespectful to do in public. It’s trashy and not very classy. 

breastfeeding 11

And I will quote another mom, “As if my baby eats with her pinky in the air anyway!” Many very well-known and well-respected women breastfeed, some of which nurse in public. Some of them even have their pictures on the cover of magazines for the entire world to see. Angelina Jolie, Julianne Moore, Sarah Jessica Parker, Gisele Bundchen, Katie Couric, Cindy Crawford, Celine Dion, Jodie Foster, Jennie Garth, Faith Hill, Madonna and Demi Moore all nurse, just to name a few.  I think it’s you that might need to determine your classiness.

It’s unnecessary to nurse. Formula is the same thing.

Advantages of Breastfeedng

It’s unnecessary?!?!?!?! Feed your baby formula. It’s all the same… but it’s NOT! Did you know that when your baby is sick, your body puts natural antibodies and probiotics into the milk to help them get better? It also does if the MOM is sick to keep your baby from catching it! Also, when you nurse your body releases oxytocin and prolactin. They cause the mother and baby to feel calm and happy! So those of you who say “You have such a happy baby,” I proudly give credit to my breasts. Educate yourself by clicking here! There is a reason why my son is (almost) 8 months old and never been sick, besides the occasional upset tummy and teething.

You’re just doing this for attention. 

breastfeeding 5

You’re wrong. And right! Yep… you’re right to an extent but not for the reasons you may think. I can’t speak for every breastfeeding mother, but I can say that for me and many other women that it’s hard. You have no idea… I breastfeed openly uncovered. I have never had someone to tell me to stop while out. All of these comments above are concocted from comments I have heard people say online to other breastfeeding moms and myself. Most of the time, they probably didn’t know I was nursing. I do the “2-shirt method”. I barely show an inch of skin.

discrete breastfeeding

Anyway about the attention…

I WANT ATTENTION TO BE DRAWN TO PUBLIC NURSING AWARENESS NOT MYSELF OR MY BREASTS!!!

Someone once said “who cares”? I DO! And so does my son. If he could talk, this is what he would say:

sad baby

Mommy… why can’t I eat at the table with you?

Why are they telling me to eat in the bathroom? It stinks in here!

Why do I have to wait until we get home? Mommy, I’m hungry now!

Why do I have to burn up under this cover? I can’t breathe!

Why do I have to eat in the hot car? I can’t breathe here either!

Mommy why are people staring at us? I’m sorry I’m so grumpy. My tummy hurts! I’m so hungry! Please feed me!

Mommy… what is a slut and why’d that woman call you that?I’m just trying to eat.

Wait… what is this stuff? What’s formula? It tastes so nasty. Your milk is sweeter! I don’t want it. This nipple doesn’t feel right. Mommy, why are you doing this to me?

This stuff hurts my tummy. I’m sorry I spit up on you. I’m not used to drinking that icky stuff.

Mommy your boobies are leaking, can’t I have just a sip? You said they hurt. But Mommy I just want a drink!

Mommy… I need lovin time like we do at home. I feel so safe and comfortable in your arms while I nurse. It’s my favorite thing ever.

I want my milk Mommy! I need to go nappy and I can’t without my milk. You know that Mommy. You always put me to sleep with my milk…

I’m so miserable Mommy.

Why are you doing this to me?

I’m not used to this!

What did I do wrong?!

Please… just one sip…

Mommy…

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6 thoughts on “RANT! Breasts Are For Food, Not Sex! My Opinion on Nursing in Public

  1. bri Mar 11 2014 / 4:37 AM

    thanks so much hat an awesome read! comments every breastfeeding mom gets, probably on a regular bases!

    Like

  2. SGurl Dec 27 2014 / 7:31 PM

    Awesome!

    Like

    • onebrokemom Dec 28 2014 / 3:22 PM

      Thanks!

      Like

  3. jlouisemac Aug 04 2015 / 11:27 PM

    I feel like this would be a good “Unpopular Opinion” article on xoJane

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The Anxious Dragon Jan 17 2016 / 9:35 AM

    I was a bottle feeder for both my kids, due to various reasons that are too lenghty to expalin, but I am a total advocate of womens right to feed thier babies in public without any harrassment. I am quite shocked as some of the things you have listed there, breast feeding is sexual…WTF!!!!! We need as many mums as possible feeding in public and talking about public feeding and then just maybe the next generation of parents wont have such a hard time with this issue.
    Thanks for linking up, Traceyxx #abitofeverything

    Like

    • Carrie Bostic Jan 17 2016 / 2:37 PM

      I know! These are comments that my online breastfeeding friends have told me that they have received. MANY of them said something about people remarking that it was sexual. It’s sad. So I’m all the time encouraging it. I also encourage breastfeeding moms to give support those moms that bottle feed. Some people can’t for medical reasons… jobs… etc. And some just don’t want to. And that’s OKAY! We moms have to stick together!

      Liked by 1 person

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